[It's good she doesn't leave her wondering long, especially after what she's just said, but now she's blinking back like an idiot. She swallows a bit trying to find the words. She looks to Dief for a moment like he's somehow gonna help her find them. But then she finally looks back.]
I... feel the same way. [Even if she's no idea how to navigate these feelings in a place like this. Especially when she has them for multiple people.]
[She shrugs, smiling too.] I have no idea. You had more you wanted to tell me about how I helped you? I think. I'm not sure where you were going with it.
[Faith had gotten more than a little distracted herself, obviously.]
Ah. Yes. That's right. I'm sorry for being so long-winded about it.
[ It seemed important to give all the background, but now he's a bit embarrassed. He pauses to take a sip of tea and eat some sandwich, mostly to compose himself. It's extremely difficult not to kiss Faith right now. ]
[Faith is barely restraining herself from kissing him, herself. The possibility of giving Benton a citation is the only thing that keeps her from it. If it was just risking herself, she wouldn't have hesitated. Damn the rules.]
That's okay. I'll forgive you. But just this once. Next time I'll have to give you a spanking. [She laughs, reaching for her tea to distract herself away from thoughts of making out with him in the middle of the public park.]
[ Faith, please, he'll die. However, he takes another judicious sip of his tea and pulls himself together. ]
... anyway, what I was trying to say is that you've helped me simply by being yourself. I have—difficulty, with women. It's easier with men, somehow... and even then, you can ask Andy, I still tend to freeze up. But for all my awkwardness, you—I find myself at ease around you. You're— I know I can trust you.
I feel safe, I suppose, with you. To be honest, not only are you the first woman I've fallen for since then, but you're also the first woman I've— well, slept with, whose presence didn't send me into an immediate dissociative episode afterwards.
So, um. Thank you. I don't—I'm sure I'm not expressing myself terribly well.
[Faith's gaze is searching, uncertain, but hopeful too. She feels like something is trying to claw out her insides.]
Y-You're expressing yourself just fine. [She manages, nearly forgetting about her food entirely. So hopefully Dief didn't take advantage.] Back home... most people don't... I don't know if I can say the trust me. Maybe Angel. He's here now you know. Angel. But he doesn't remember any of him helping me. Just me trying to kill him. [That hurts too. It feels like losing her best friend.] They all think I'm going to fuck up again. They don't say that, but I can tell just by the way they look at me.
And maybe sometimes, I think I'm going to screw it all up too. [She sniffs, trying to push down the tears that are threatening.]
I feel safe with you too. When I got hurt. I was so happy to see you. Like, somehow I knew everything would just be alright.
[ Everything he might say seems inadequate, but that's fine. He doesn't have to say anything at all. Instead, he reaches for her hand, finding it and holding it firmly in his. There's something of fairy tales about the gesture—not in a romantic, happily ever after sense, but something both older and more innocent. Like a pact between children, holding hands before going into the dark woods.
Also, Dief totally does steal both of their sandwiches. ]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-06-23 11:32 pm (UTC)I... feel the same way. [Even if she's no idea how to navigate these feelings in a place like this. Especially when she has them for multiple people.]
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Date: 2022-06-24 12:27 am (UTC)Ah.
Thank you.
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Date: 2022-06-24 01:45 am (UTC)God, you're such a dork. [It's part of why she loves him, honestly.]
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Date: 2022-06-24 02:57 am (UTC)[ He's not actually sorry, and doesn't sound it. He still can't wipe the smile off his face. ]
Um. What were we talking about?
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Date: 2022-06-24 03:21 am (UTC)[Faith had gotten more than a little distracted herself, obviously.]
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Date: 2022-06-24 03:30 am (UTC)[ It seemed important to give all the background, but now he's a bit embarrassed. He pauses to take a sip of tea and eat some sandwich, mostly to compose himself. It's extremely difficult not to kiss Faith right now. ]
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Date: 2022-06-24 01:44 pm (UTC)That's okay. I'll forgive you. But just this once. Next time I'll have to give you a spanking. [She laughs, reaching for her tea to distract herself away from thoughts of making out with him in the middle of the public park.]
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Date: 2022-06-24 07:39 pm (UTC)[ Faith, please, he'll die. However, he takes another judicious sip of his tea and pulls himself together. ]
... anyway, what I was trying to say is that you've helped me simply by being yourself. I have—difficulty, with women. It's easier with men, somehow... and even then, you can ask Andy, I still tend to freeze up. But for all my awkwardness, you—I find myself at ease around you. You're— I know I can trust you.
I feel safe, I suppose, with you. To be honest, not only are you the first woman I've fallen for since then, but you're also the first woman I've— well, slept with, whose presence didn't send me into an immediate dissociative episode afterwards.
So, um. Thank you. I don't—I'm sure I'm not expressing myself terribly well.
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Date: 2022-06-24 10:39 pm (UTC)Y-You're expressing yourself just fine. [She manages, nearly forgetting about her food entirely. So hopefully Dief didn't take advantage.] Back home... most people don't... I don't know if I can say the trust me. Maybe Angel. He's here now you know. Angel. But he doesn't remember any of him helping me. Just me trying to kill him. [That hurts too. It feels like losing her best friend.] They all think I'm going to fuck up again. They don't say that, but I can tell just by the way they look at me.
And maybe sometimes, I think I'm going to screw it all up too. [She sniffs, trying to push down the tears that are threatening.]
I feel safe with you too. When I got hurt. I was so happy to see you. Like, somehow I knew everything would just be alright.
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Date: 2022-06-24 10:53 pm (UTC)Also, Dief totally does steal both of their sandwiches. ]