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[rockypath]

 

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[nighted]

I'll remember. [ For next time.

It's said softly even as Jon take a step back, pausing at the question. He's still getting used to the way people in Hell check in on one another, look after each other. There wasn't generally time in Westeros. ] I'm fine. [ He reassures, shaking his head since he doesn't want her to think that-- No check-in was necessary. They're all dealing with a lot in Hell, and she made him omelets for him before, and-

Jon isn't good at words so he just gestures vaguely trying to convey all that. He swallows thickly. ]

I saw a memory of yours. I wanted you to know.

[rockypath]

[His awkwardness makes her smile, reminded suddenly of another brooding dark-haired man, well, vampire. It endears her to Jon. She misses Angel more than she'll admit but at the same time, she never wants to see him here. It would break her heart.] Right. Me too. Completely fine... [Perhaps that's a lie, but she's probably no worse off than anyone else.

Faith stills at the admission, staring down at the marshmallows now mostly melted in her cup.] Oh. [Right. That.]

[rockypath]

i don't know klaus
how'd she take what you've told her already?

delivery.

[buried]

[ outside of the birthday breakfast jon and elena will have ready for faith the morning of the fourteenth, elena will have gifted faith a cookie monster onesie, keeping in mind how very much faith has been hating the colder temperatures. maybe it's not as practical as something slayer-y, but faith is much more than that. ]

[bestfuneralever]

in stride honestly
but idk if thats just the shock making her numb to it or what

[A few minutes go by before he eventually adds: ]

shes so happy rn faith
i
dont wanna ruin it

[nighted]

[ Jon lifts his eyebrows when she trails off as if he doesn't quite believe that. At the same time, it is Hell. It's rare to find anyone who is truly doing fine, but his expression nonetheless shows his quiet concern. There is little he can do to help, but he is here as she was for him. ]

I didn't want to have this knowledge without your knowing. [ It felt unfair especially for what was such a painful moment. ] You had been fighting with another. She... stabbed you.

[rockypath]

Yeah, she did. [She still had the scar. Faith can't help her hand finding her stomach, touching the spot over top of her clothing.] I didn't really give her a whole lot of options.

[Faith had driven Buffy to it. Had wanted it, really.] That was Buffy. She's a Slayer too. Like me.

[rockypath]

[Faith will be a whole lot shyer during the whole proceedings, eating the made breakfast, and being generally awkward about it. But she is happy, smiling even. Once she's alone she might cry a bit, where no one else can see. It's been a long time since anyone gave a shit about her birthday, after all.

And she is definitely going to be rocking that cookie monster onesie around the apartment.]

[rockypath]

i understand.

how are you doing with all this?
you want me to come over?

[bestfuneralever]

idk its weird
like i have to get to know her all over again
she has to get to know me again
we get to start over in a way and maybe thats good but it also feels like cheating?
b/c theres no history for her so she doesnt know that she spent so long hating all of us
and what happens when her memories come back assuming they do like is she gonna be pissed if we didnt tell her the truth
its hard to know what to do which parts to tell her

[Badly. With panic. That's how he's taking it.]

if u want i wldnt object

[nighted]

[ Jon notes how her hand goes to her stomach where he'd seen the knife go in. He can't help but think of the open scars scattered over his own chest. It was not easy to watch her be stabbed and fall. He lifts his gaze to her face again in surprise. ]

...you were fighting one of your own? [ He doesn't think they make oaths like the Night's Watch (for what little that meant to most of them), but they should have been on the same side, right? Things always get messy.]

[rockypath]

i do want.

[Since it sure seems like he needs someone right now.]

im sure whatever you do once/if she gets her memories back she knows you care
that you did your best?

[rockypath]

I was. I hurt someone she cared about. Who she loved. Poisoned him. He was going to die without the blood of a Slayer, so... [She gestures to her stomach.] I don't blame her.

[nighted]

[ Jon winces when she gestures to her stomach helplessly so. He breathes out after a moment in the quiet that follows. Faith doesn't blame her somehow, and Jon's still trying to wrap his head around to understand. ]

Why did you do that?

[bestfuneralever]

ur amazing
ty...

[Sometimes, it feels like he only sees Faith when he’s decided he’s having some crisis or other. He hopes she doesn’t feel that way, and he’s always so glad when she comes over like this. She’s just...there. Whenever he needs her to be. And that isn’t something he’s used to. It’s nice. He wouldn’t want it to be a burden or something to her. An inconvenience of some kind. (He does so often feel like both of those things to everyone he’s friends with).]

i hope so

cw: suicidal ideation

[rockypath]

[She shakes her head because she knows she doesn't have a good reason. Faith cracks her knuckles, shifting a bit uncomfortably.] I... I hated her. Everything she had that I didn't. I was in a dark place. And I felt like she didn't care about me, tossed me aside the moment I messed up. So I just kept digging myself deeper. So deep I couldn't climb out.

I was working for someone who wanted to see her suffer too and he-- [She curses under her breath.] He was nice to me so I was willing to do almost anything. He treated me like a daughter. I knew he was evil, but I didn't care. [She's certain she's making no sense at all.]

I also-- I wanted her to come after me. I wanted her to kill me. It felt like what I deserved. My only way out.

cw: suicidal ideation

[nighted]

[ The circumstances aren't ones Jon has ever lived. They take place in a world far different from his own. His world is very black and white in what is right and wrong and the consequences of both. It's harsh in its judgement. He listens, and there isn't judgement. He's made friends with many who were once his enemies. He has done horrible things himself even if they were considered the 'right' thing, and in the future, he's going to do something more horrible.

He is familiar with wanting to die. It's the way he felt after he came back to life while being terrified of death in a way he never had been before. He didn't belong with the living. Still it hurts to think she could be in a place so dark. ]

It looked like she had. [ killed her. he drops his gaze and then lifts it again slowly. ] ...but you found another way out? [ From what he knows of her now, she's not the same person she describes in this memory. ]

[rockypath]

[Faith is accustomed to being used in some ways, but not like this. She so very much wants to be needed. Wanted. Maybe it's not entirely healthy that she comes running every time he needs it, but she does want to. She wants to be there for him.]

i love you.
i'll be there in my christmas pjs

12/20 @ 6:13pm

[bestfuneralever]

babe
i was hanging out w/ vanya & i realized something
i havent touched anything outside of the booze/weed agreement i made w/ her b4 she forgot everything in 4 fuckin' months!!!
i havent been this clean since i fuckin started this shit

[rockypath]

fuck me thats amazing.
really proud of you <3

[bestfuneralever]

i feel like i shld celebrate somehow
but idk how???
my version of celebrating was always... yanno... getting fucked up

[rockypath]

maybe, like a get together with friends? a nice dinner?
something like that?
or we could bang? ha!

[bestfuneralever]

do you think anybody will... care?
i mean im never gonna say no to that...😉

[rockypath]

i care.
i think vanya will care, even if she doesn't remember.
im sure a lot of people who know you would care.

[And if they don't, she'd have words with them because they were shitty friends.]

didn't think you would.
heck maybe we could even throw in a bit of roleplay?

[bestfuneralever]

it doesnt even feel like I know that many ppl. which is weird cuz ive always had such big social circles
but here its my brother&sister and maybe a handful of ppl.

quality, not quantity right?

oh yeah? what did u have in mind 😉