Exactly. [She ducks her head, burying it a bit into his shoulder.] I know it wasn't good for me. Being alone. But seems like that's where I'm gonna end up anyway, right? Eventually. [She knows she's rambling now.] You'll leave too. Or I will. Or you'll realize what a mess I am and that I'm not worth risking a citation for when you've got Andy and... I met Ray on the train, so I know you've got him too.
[And maybe she feels jealous. Even though it's fucking stupid to be.]
I cannot imagine deciding that the risk of an unjust punishment from a nonsensical and inhumane government could ever outweigh the value of your presence in my life, or the privilege that you grant me by letting me hold you in my arms. And the fact that there are other people I love and care for by no means diminishes how much I love and care for you.
[ His voice is low and steady, but the words come slow and a little halting—even if the sentences themselves are reasonably eloquent, he says them a bit awkwardly, a bit shyly. It's difficult to talk about his feelings like this, but it seems important right now to make the effort. ]
[Her breathing grows a little unsteady as he talks, emotions welling up in her. Faith is still fucking terrified and worried, but hearing him talk helps even if it makes her want to cry.]
Before you got there I thought about pushing you away to protect myself somehow... to tell you not to bother with me. Something. [Faith still doesn't entirely believe she's worthy of love. Dinah leaving had brought that feeling up in full force.] But I can't do it. The idea of hurting you makes me physically ill. And I don't want to let you go. I can't.
Yeah? [She pulls back to look up at him before pulling him down in a kiss. The roof is relatively secluded... or at least that's what she's telling herself.]
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[And maybe she feels jealous. Even though it's fucking stupid to be.]
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I have to thank you, Faith.
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[ His voice is low and steady, but the words come slow and a little halting—even if the sentences themselves are reasonably eloquent, he says them a bit awkwardly, a bit shyly. It's difficult to talk about his feelings like this, but it seems important right now to make the effort. ]
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Before you got there I thought about pushing you away to protect myself somehow... to tell you not to bother with me. Something. [Faith still doesn't entirely believe she's worthy of love. Dinah leaving had brought that feeling up in full force.] But I can't do it. The idea of hurting you makes me physically ill. And I don't want to let you go. I can't.
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[Maybe if she says that last part enough she'll actually start to believe it.]
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[ He doesn't resist at all, kissing her deeply. ]