[She ducks her head, tugging her snuggie closer and clutching the bottle.]
Back home. I don't... I don't have many people. Really only one. The one who helped me crawl my way back. Angel. I didn't let anyone else in. Always seemed easier at the time, but then I just ended up being alone.
I still expect people to leave me or betray me. For most of my life, it's been one or the other, yanno?
[She takes a long swig from the bottle.]
That's really been the only good thing about this place. I have people. People that checked on me after this. Ben, you, Dinah, people I barely even know too...
Trusting people is terrifying, even when you're a sheltered guy who's never seriously been hurt.
[ He's speaking about himself. Andy'll let almost anyone go at him with a riding crop, but back home, his secrets are reserved for a handful of people. ]
It's a learning process, and there's always this awareness that on paper, trust is a bad call. You're giving someone your kryptonite and hoping they won't use it against you.
It's not like keeping myself locked away was really helping me. Pushing people away is what led me to betray Buffy. Among other things. That doesn't mean it's not still scary. I just know now that the alternative is worse...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Back home. I don't... I don't have many people. Really only one. The one who helped me crawl my way back. Angel. I didn't let anyone else in. Always seemed easier at the time, but then I just ended up being alone.
I still expect people to leave me or betray me. For most of my life, it's been one or the other, yanno?
[She takes a long swig from the bottle.]
That's really been the only good thing about this place. I have people. People that checked on me after this. Ben, you, Dinah, people I barely even know too...
[It means more than she can really express.]
no subject
[ He's speaking about himself. Andy'll let almost anyone go at him with a riding crop, but back home, his secrets are reserved for a handful of people. ]
It's a learning process, and there's always this awareness that on paper, trust is a bad call. You're giving someone your kryptonite and hoping they won't use it against you.
no subject
[She wraps her snuggie tighter around her.]
I just... I hope she doesn't hate me forever.
no subject
[ Andy squeezes her tightly for a moment, before loosening his hold a little. ]
Just give her time and space.